Kindness Matters

Let me start by saying, no matter where you are from, what language you speak, your education, race, religion, political beliefs or anything else….KINDNESS MATTERS!

I work for a company based out of China, we all know China is extremely strict with everything. Well, I got in a heated discussion the other day with some teachers about how mean the company is, how they never receive more classes, there is no time off policy, no breaks between classes… etc. No, the company isn’t perfect but neither am I. The company does however provide thousands of teachers with a way to work at home, in comfy clothes while our children sleep. They make it possible for me to still be a stay at home mom. I sat there defending a company that yes, needs to change somethings, but it amazed me how quick people were to complain and bash the company. A friend asked how I have been given more classes, taught on WIFI (a big no-no) and had 2 no shows and still with the company. Well, kindness.

See, I have never told the company we need a time off policy. I tell them when I’m going on vacation and that I will still teach if my internet is up to standard. I do not expect anything more from them. I say “Thank you” every time I get a sub class, new class, or even put on standby. I apologize for my no show classes and give them a honest reason. I don’t disagree with anything they say because its their company, not mine. I treat them with kindness, respect and love. I treat other teachers and mentors with kindness and respect. No one is better than another.

I believe when you are kind people see that and love it. I believe that kindness is like glitter, it spreads to everyone and everything. It doesn’t matter what you believe or where you are from. It doesn’t matter how you were raised or the language you speak. Kindness is free and people need to take advantage of it more often.

 

Summer Goals

I wish I could say that Im the mom with the super fun summer to do list. You know the ones you see on pinterest….100 ways to have fun, 100 cheap things to do, idea sto make summer memories with your kids….. blah blah blah.

Here is my list

1. Don’t kill the children
2. Pull weeds like a boss
3. Shower at least 3 times a week
4. Read 3 books….(parenting help books)
5. Not to overspend
6. Im not buying dollar store stuff to keep my kids happy
7. Spend time with friends
8. Keep the garden alive
9. Blog more
10. Work more (Im teaching English online early early in the morning)
11. Have the best girls trip ever!
12. Make simple fun memories with my kids
13. Nap at least 3 times a week
14. Don’t let the kids use video games for hours
15. Don’t get a sunburn
16. Watermelon + rubber band experiment with the kids
17. Start running again
18. Twister on the lawn
19. Enjoy being outdoors more
20. Hike more with the family

You guys, summer isn’t a time to exhaust yourself to keep your kids happy. They were blessed with a brain and the ability to entertain themselves. My kids don’t want to say “I’m Bored” because I am putting a jar together. One full of ideas when I hear that phrase. Some will be simple like “get your butt outside” Others might be a workout or actual chores. I think Ill even put a free pass or 2 in there just for luck. I promise it will only take a day or two before I don’t hear that phrase and they figure out what to do!

I will not plan out this crazy weekly summer schedule for my kids and I. I will plan a few things but like going to the park with friends so I can chat with friends and kids can play. We have a fun little pool in the backyard, a playset, a trampoline, bikes, scooters, friends….there is no reason to be bored!

I want my kids to learn to take care of their own boredom. It’s part of life and we have to learn to deal with it. So bring on the summer time, sunshine, relaxed schedule, boredom and life lessons.

Are You Quick To Judge???

Are you quick to judge the creepy white van? Are you quick to judge that sweet face standing on a corner begging for money? Are you quick to judge your neighbors? Are you quick to judge the suddenly single mom? Are you quick to judge anything and everything?

I try SO hard not to judge. If I do fall into that nasty trap, I try to replace negative thoughts with positive. Maybe the creepy white van is a homeless guy with mental problems. Maybe the guy begging for money hasn’t had a meal in a few days. Maybe your neighbors are shy. Maybe the single mom was finally strong enough to leave the abusive relationship she was in for years.

I want to see other sides of a story. I can be a nosey person but its so I have the actual facts and not just gossip. So that then I can try to be informed and make a compassionate judgement.

We don’t know the struggles others are going thru. We don’t know their past or present. We are so quick to judge though. Thinking we know better. I would much rather have a compassionate heart then to assume things about others or their situations.

I have this amazing brother in law. When I first met him he was deep into drugs and your typical SLC bum. Dirty clothes, a little crazy, always high on something, needles covering his apt floor when he had one…he fit the stereotype. He bounced from shelter to shelter but if they were full he bounced bench to bench. I was very nervous around him in the beginning. All I knew is he was on numerous drugs and was not the type of person I was use to being around.

I didn’t get to know him right away. I knew his story and whatever else I heard from family members. He had an apartment at one point in the beginning and would invite other homeless friends over so that they could shower and use the stove to eat a warm meal. He gave up his bed and couch and anything else he could so others have a comfortable place to sleep for a night or two. His parents kept his fridge with food that he shared with anyone. Even though he had very little he gave everything he could to others. He would invite a friend or two to family gatherings at Christmas and Thanksgiving so that they would have a place to go on those holidays instead of being alone.

About 6 years ago he pulled away from the family. He felt he couldn’t be around us till he got his life straight. He had been self medicating mental illness with drugs and didn’t want the family to see him like that anymore. He told his parents he wasn’t going to come back around till he was better. About 4 years ago he started coming back around. He was no longer self medicating with drugs, he was working at a homeless shelter and getting a place to live. These past 4 years he was still a little crazy (I say that with a loving smile) but he was around. He made memories with the family. He worked so hard to come back and be a better person. He was seeing a dr and back on correct meds. He hated those meds, he hated the way they made him feel but family meant more to him.

I’ve known him for about 11 years now. He recently passed away and the stories of love and compassion that were shared about him would make a saint blush. He wasn’t perfect but all this man wanted was to give to others. He gave and gave and gave. I promise you, had you seen him even in these last few years you would have judged him to be some crazy bum. I was blessed to know that he was an amazing brother, brother in law, son, father and uncle. He was the only one that would go outside and play with the kids. They love their Uncle Joe and hold on to the little gifts he gave them. They might be small but they come with more love then a heart can handle.

I promise you, if you saw this amazing man, you would have put your head down and held onto your kids a little tighter because that is what our world is now. We judge and let those fears consume us. It’s so upsetting to me. So instead of hiding your face and judging others, smile at them. A smile is the best medicine. It isn’t our job to judge others, but it is our job to show love and compassion to all of Heavenly Father’s children.

 

 

Sleepy Child Update

So my daughter has been using this blessing in a bottle. She is pretty much sleeping through the night. Wakes up maybe once but I can totally handle that. She as a classical cd that plays throughout the night for her and takes 2 of these about 15 minutes before bed. I HIGHLY recommend these already. We went from her being up for a few hours each night to waking up once, if at all this weekend.

BLESSING IN A BOTTLE!!!

I have actually gotten sleep this weekend! I will stock these for her life if I have to. Oh and they even have an adult one. I don’t need help sleeping but know some people have that crazy problem.

So if your child isn’t sleeping, I truly am sorry. Go order these off amazon, get a nice heavy blanket and some soft music for your little one. They will snooze so much your body won’t know how to handle all the sleep.

Sleep Child, Sleep

Let me start out by saying that my daughter is my  youngest, my baby, my stubborn, kind hearted, sensitive, child. Since day 1 of her beautiful life she has wanted to be close to the action, center of attention and making sure that she keeps me on my toes at all times. Yes, my last child might very well be my hardest child! With that all said…I am tired of her not sleeping thru the night!

I work 2 jobs, plus wifely/motherly duties….not to mention the extra I always add to my plate. Im averaging maybe 3 hours of sleep a night with her up all night freaking out over nothing. She is obviously scared so I care a little but most of my care went out the window months ago…maybe even years. Now as a mom, we all know we would give up anything for our children but sleep is usually where we draw the line. Am I right or am I right?

Now before you hurry to tell me about everything I need to try let me save you time. I’ve done almost all of them except for a specialist or anything voodoo weird.

• Oils (don’t help)
• melatonin (horrible dreams)
• classical music (helps little)
• routine (meh)
• night lights (tried them all)
• weighted blanket (temporarily helped)
• active during the day (she’s 5 this is too easy but doesn’t help)
• monster spray (she didn’t fall for it)
• stories (nope)
• bribery (only temporarily)
• low sugar diet (easily done, nothing changed)
• no caffeine (easily done no changes)

I know there are other things out there but these were simple cost friendly things that we have done over the years. If something worked it was only temporarily.

Right now we are going through the “Im scared of everything” phase….you know the one where they are deathly terrified of a home they have lived in for years, scared of their toys and follow you around like a lost puppy. She takes some of this up a notch. She has told me to sell and get rid of her toys because she doesn’t want them to come to life (thanks Toy Story), she won’t go in a room without someone with her (even if it’s a room that shares a wall), she follows me around and cries if I don’t let her sit in my room while I try to get my sweaty workout clothes off gracefully, she will chose the consequence of not listening over doing what I ask.

So we are trying this stuff by Hyland’s. (Man, I love that company) I’ll let you know how it works. If this problem isn’t fixed soon I’ll let you guys know what mental home you can find me in!

I’ll check in again on Monday and let you know how the weekend goes. I wouldn’t wish no sleep on my worst enemy. I got more sleep when my kids were newborns!!!

Spring Break Truth

I kinda love spring break yet this one I am NOT looking forward to. Sad to say but really, Im not that excited. I work at my kids school as a teacher assistant. I work the only hours that I am kid free….meaning spring break will be a week of getting all the projects done that I haven’t made time for. It means adulting harder around the house.

• weeding the rv pad
• sorting clothing and getting rid of at least half
• cleaning the garage so we can actually park in there
• finding the smell in the fridge (I just smelled it today and can’t locate it!)
• prepping the garden boxes
• cleaning up the yard
• decluttering the toy room
• cleaning in general
• painting the tub

I know what your thinking….”It’s your kids break also, do fun things with them”. Don’t worry I plan on it but I told them not to expect anything major. We will head to the park, have some friends over, go to the aquarium….simple things. I’m not going broke for them to have fun. God has blessed them with a nice big backyard! It’s more about relaxing this week anyways since we are usually nonstop on the go.

Who else is just saying SCREW IT to over done Spring Break plans? I plan on getting my list done and then just bingeing on Netflix or actually finishing a book. I have dared both of my boys to finish a book this week and begged my daughter to just stop making messes. Maybe next year I’ll plan something big. For now, I want my list done and to spend as little money as I can this week 🙂

 

Addicted to busy?

I miss blogging. I miss writing out my feelings and thoughts. I like most moms, have crammed so many things into my day that I don’t even know what spare time is anymore. Is it possible to be addicted to being busy? There’s something to think about. I go and go each day forgetting to eat till 4pm some days. Most people would lose their minds, but I feel like I thrive on being busy. The busier I am the better I feel. It’s weird to explain.

There is something about the morning rush. Getting 3 kids ready to go out the door. Did I mention that I have my kids at different schools right now too!? Yeah so that happens daily, drop off one at one school and the other at another. Little miss luckily doesn’t have to be at school till I go to work.

Most moms go home and clean or relax (aka sleep)after school drop off….not me. It’s perfect timing to take a ornery 5 year old to the store or post office before rushing off to workout classes.

After working out (my therapy) it’s 10:30 by the time I get home. I have exactly 40 minutes to get myself showered and ready for work while helping my daughter get ready and keeping her away from anything messy. White shirts with a uniform…not a smart idea!

This is my normal….once I’m at work Im busy there, grading papers, telling kids to stop picking their noses (then have to explain why I want them to wash their hands) reading, recess, lunch and almost begging this 4th grade class to just walk thru the halls quietly….it still hasn’t happened. 4th graders are the reason I have so much new gray hair.

After work it’s the same in most homes. Homework, dinner, cleaning, getting ready for the next day, any family errands, bedtime routines and off to bed they go.

I know your reading this rolling your eyes thinking it doesn’t sound that busy. Let’s add that we decided to put our house on the market…NEXT WEEK….so I’m painting and doing everything I can to have that ready. Oh and I wanted to make more money so I’m in the hiring process to teach English online. Already hired but need to do another class before I am ready to teach on my own.

Why do I do this to myself? Why over cram my day? Why overbook myself knowing it doesn’t always workout? Why leave myself with NO time to relax till my husband tells me to come to bed. I hired a maid so that I can have a clean house but with us selling it’s complete chaos around here! Thankfully she will be cleaning before photos are done.

So do you think its possible to be addicted to being busy?  Am I the only one that feels like I might be out of control with everything I have put on my plate?

I think it’s totally possible the more I think about it. Being busy and rushing from here to there, or having a to do list to long to complete gives me a sense of an adrenaline rush. It’s like this race I’m having with myself daily. I hate not getting things done or being on time so I hurry even more. I feel like once I’m on time or complete the tasks that I have this overwhelming since of joy, almost pride. I am thrilled to do what was needed, on time and the best that I could give. Adding more jobs in my day makes it trickier to still do everything but I like that rush in between each task.

You guys, Im totally addicted to being busy! I’m addicted to that rush it gives me as I race from one place to another or complete painting a room before I need to go to bed…I’m totally addicted to the crazy busy but still keeping it together lifestyle. I add more as a challenge, to see if I can really do it. Then when I do….I add MORE!

Ok, my mind is racing and did I mention its 4:30 in the morning and I have a busy day ahead and need to get like 1 more hour of sleep??? Seriously, this is sad.