I dont know where to begin. Kids started school, I’ve been working at the salon more, enjoying some quiet time and friend time, went to the Blink 182 and lil wayne concert with Jen, we went to Disneyland, I started therapy, I got a new car, my house is a constant mess, all I want to is watch Bachelor in Paradise and sleep🤦♀️
Therapy has been hard. Its exhausting, I always leave ready to just sleep the day away. You know how I feel about talking about my feelings, the past and everything else. I dont want to but I’m hoping it all will help in the end.
Kids are doing great in school. They all are loving their classes and teachers. Making new friends and keeping old ones.
Disneyland was amazing and probably the first time since you passed that I felt truly happy. We spent 2 days at the parks aand one day at the beach. We made sure to stay from open to close both days. We tried all the snacks, ate all the food and rode all the rides.
This blog is all for me to be honest about losing you. I wear a bracelet of yours daily. It has the quote “Always remember: you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem” on it. I dont remember where you got it but it’s funny how something that was for you during your battle is something that can also help me after you passed. It’s a good daily reminder. Life has been full of blessings but honestly, it’s hard for me to see them. Im definitely in at a low. It’s been about two and a half months and it sucks. I cant seem to shake this feeling.
The other day I had four people ask me if I was ok. I felt like I was fine but obviously seemed like I wasnt. This was a slap in the face for me. I’ve been feeling just fine but apparently I’m not appearing that way to others. Hopefully therapy will help me with this.
Life isn’t the same without you. I think of you daily. I could cry daily but you know I wont. I protect the jewelry that Macey and I brought home of yours. I just wish it would get a little easier. I feel guilty that I cant afford to come visit your grave and sit and chat with you. I feel guilty I havent sent flowers. I feel guilty that I havent keptin touch with family. It’s just been….hard.
So that’s what’s been going on. I have no reason for not writing other then, its been a tough period of dealing with losing you. Insomia at night is strong and sleep during the day is all I want to do. Things wI’ll get better. Things will get easier….it just takes time.
Love you mom ❤